goingtobehappy (original poster member #15143) posted at 6:20 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2025
If your husband’s affair partner is in a relationship should you let them know about the affair?
Me: BS for a second time
STBXH
Kids: 24 & 27
Married 20 years
1st DDay July 26/06
2nd DDay 2nd husband Aug 27/16
crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 7:08 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2025
Yes and don’t tell your wayward spouse that you are doing it.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare
This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 8:30 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2025
I've revealed a number of affairs and feel very good about it.
Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.
AnnieOakley ( member #13332) posted at 8:59 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2025
Going, I notice your reg date is years ago.
Did you R? Divorce? And now you have been betrayed a 3rd time with another partner? Or is this more ddays?
Without a doubt the other BS deserves to know. As mentioned do not tell your WS in advance. Be certain that you can contact the BS directly, without their WS intercepting. And finally even after you contact the BS, do not tell your WS. If supposedly they are NC, you will know once the A is exposed if they are in contact.
Take care and we’re sorry to see you back after so many years.
Me= BSHim=xWH (did the work & became the man I always thought he was, but it was too late)M=23+,T=27+dday=7/06, 8/09 (pics at a work function), 11/09 VAR, 6/12 Sep'd, 10/14 Divorced."If you are going through hell, keep going."
goingtobehappy (original poster member #15143) posted at 2:53 AM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2025
Thank you for your responses. Yes back again with second husband. I think he is a serial cheater. Each tune is the last but it never is. I know I should end things but I just don’t have the energy right now
Me: BS for a second time
STBXH
Kids: 24 & 27
Married 20 years
1st DDay July 26/06
2nd DDay 2nd husband Aug 27/16
Copingmybest ( member #78962) posted at 10:49 AM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2025
I for one can tell you, that after experiencing my mothers breakdown talking with me about my fathers affair for about 5 hours when I was 18 years old, and the emotional pain I felt for her at that time, then to live through that experience myself a little over 4 years ago, I will always out an affair to the betrayed spouse to give them the opportunity to choose the path they would like. It sickens me to see a decent person being lied to and hoodwinked through deception. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but no way I can know that is going on and not try to stop the destruction unfolding in front of my eyes.
goingtobehappy (original poster member #15143) posted at 2:03 PM on Thursday, July 24th, 2025
Does anyone have any tips for contacting the affair partners significant other? I found him on Instagram and Facebook. I sent messages to both accounts but as we are not friends does it go to a junk mail type of thing? I don’t think he has seen either message.
Me: BS for a second time
STBXH
Kids: 24 & 27
Married 20 years
1st DDay July 26/06
2nd DDay 2nd husband Aug 27/16
1994 ( member #82615) posted at 3:28 PM on Thursday, July 24th, 2025
The website truthfinder will provide publicly-available contact information as well as physical and mailing addresses. It is paid, but it's pretty reliable. Your best option may be to send a certified letter to their address. That way, the OBS signs for the letter and you get a receipt.
asc1226 ( member #75363) posted at 7:58 PM on Thursday, July 24th, 2025
If you can find their work information contact them there. Little chance of the AP intercepting and it gives them a few hours to consider if they want to confront, investigate further or start getting their ducks in a row.
I make edits, words is hard
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 11:44 PM on Thursday, July 24th, 2025
Absofuckingloutely!!!!
Then let the chips fall where they may.
And...don't let anyone (especially your WH) know you are doing this. They have a funny way of warning their AP or talking you out of it or...
Inform them ASAP. Have a draft of what you want to say handy.
And it OK to cry afterwards.
Does anyone have any tips for contacting the affair partners significant other?
You've done the basic messages on FB and IG. Sometimes a person will have their email and/or phone number listed publicly on those platforms so you could try that.
Also try finding their personal and work addresses and sending a certified and restricted letter to both places. That way only the addressee can sign for/open the letter.
If the AP works with your WH - call HR and let them handle it as well.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
