Brutally betrayed
I am posting it again to get more responses. As I am not healing. Continuously crying since 3 months 10 days.
12 years of marriage. We Have a child. Recently found out my husband is cheating on me since 5 years. After 3 years of marriage his mother had moved in with us after her husband's death. There used to be fights because of the politics played by my MIL.My H always took her side. They were emotionally married to each other.I felt like outsider. Slowly he started silent treatments, stone walling and started to be distant. I was still in all love with him. In 2022, I caught him cheating by talking to a lady on phone for hours. I was devastated. He didn't give me any detail. I knew it was more than talking. He promised he will never repeat it. Then we moved to USA from our home country. He promised he will rebuild. But recently found out that he never stopped talking to the AP. He used to go to our home country every 4 months to have honeymoon with her by claiming he is going to meet his mom. The AP is a massage lady who used to work in spa and he had went for massage in 2022 when I was in my maternal place for few months. She is a divorcee with 2 twenty years old kids. He gave her a huge amount of money. Set up her own spa business. Sponsoring AP's daughter's higher studies, took a loan for a house she wanted to purchase and claiming that she would have paid the EMIs. Whileas he gave a huge down payment for this too.
This is a 2nd time betrayal. He was very cruel to me these few years. 5 years affair. So many big things he did for AP. He says, his AP used to live with her boyfriend and he used to beat her. So my H wanted to help her. They started talking and he got involved with her out of pity. I was in my maternal home for 4 months. He had full honeymoon with her for those months in my home which we had build together. He used the same bed we used to sleep on. He had given her the key of my house. When he was in USA, she used to come frequently to my house in my home country and my H used to send food for her. Whenever he went to home country, he stayed with her in my house. I discovered these things now.
When I caught him, he is remorseful and want his family back. Want to be a better person and love me the way I want. He is a small narcissist and excessive avoidant. He says he was poisoned for me by his mother and we didn't solve the issues and he had resentment baggage. His ego kept him talking to me about our marital issues. He wanted to help the lady to pull her out of her problems and poverty and strayed.
Please suggest me.
I am not healing. I am crying and confronting him continuously since 3 months 10 days. When he went on a business trip, I felt at peace but now when he is back, the same cycle is repeating. I am in immense pain. Not able to understand what to do to come out of it. It feels like a separation for sometime will help but I feel guilty about asking him to move out and I start missing him and my daughter's full responsibility falls on me and I am not in a position to care her mentally and physically.
How long it will take to heal? How this pain will stop?
I know I can't leave this marriage but I can't think about reconciliation after such a brutal betrayal. My heart is not accepting it. I cant accept how a person can be so cruel to their spouse. I would have never done this.
Recently I found their intimate pictures and I am so broken after that.
3 comments posted: Saturday, July 11th, 2026
Betrayed by husband
12 years of marriage. We Have a child. Recently found out my husband is cheating on me since 5 years. After 3 years of marriage his mother had moved in with us after her husband's death. There used to be fights because of the politics played by my MIL.My H always took her side. They were emotionally married to each other.I felt like outsider. Slowly he started silent treatments, stone walling and started to be distant. I was still in all love with him. In 2022, I caught him cheating by talking to a lady on phone for hours. I was devastated. He didn't give me any detail. I knew it was more than talking. He promised he will never repeat it. Then we moved to USA from our home country. He promised he will rebuild. But recently found out that he never stopped talking to the AP. He used to go to our home country every 4 months to have honeymoon with her by claiming he is going to meet his mom. The AP is a massage lady who used to work in spa and he had went for massage in 2022 when I was in my maternal place for few months. She is a divorcee with 2 twenty years old kids. He gave her a huge amount of money. Set up her own spa business. Sponsoring AP's daughter's higher studies, took a loan for a house she wanted to purchase and claiming that she would have paid the EMIs. Whileas he gave a huge down payment for this too.
This is a 2nd time betrayal. He was very cruel to me these few years. 5 years affair. So many big things he did for AP.
When I caught him, he is remorseful and want his family back. Want to be a better person and love me the way I want. He is a small narcissist and excessive avoidant. He says he was poisoned for me by his mother and we didn't solve the issues and he had resentment baggage. His ego kept him talking to me about our marital issues. He wanted to help the lady to pull her out of her problems and poverty and strayed.
Please suggest me. I am not able to figure out whether to stay or leave. I am devastated.
Please give me long replies. Badly needing it.
18 comments posted: Wednesday, June 3rd, 2026
