Husbands Burner Phone (Follow Up)

I wrote a few weeks ago about finding a burner phone my husband was using. It was filled with Porn and there was contact with escorts. So in follow up, last night I started looking through his phone (the non burner, that he has had for years) First, he had images of a few different phones (Samsung, apple, etc) that he must have been trying to hook up or in fact did hook up. One of them was the one that I found. Anyway, on this phone I found several pictures he had taken of pictures of old girlfriends from over 25 years ago. He said his mother had the pictures. Now, this in a normal relationship would most likely not be a huge deal, but it was for me. Because he never mentioned these photos as I would have. And they were not pictures of him and the women together it was images of just them. He was in a few. And the dates coincided with the purchase of the burner phone. Now I am driving myself crazy wondering if he contacted one of them. What is notable is that about two years ago, he was in contact with an ex girlfriend. I found out because he was in the hospital and she was texting his phone. I checked the bill and he had been talking to her for a period of six months. He thinks he is blameless because it was "talking" and he never met up with her. But he always thinks he is blameless. He said that he received a random call from her from craigslist as he does business on there. Yet I restored text messages and saw him request the number from a mutual friend. I am so upset. This pattern of betrayal is soul crushing. And the worst part about it is he doesn't think he did anything because didn't meet up with anyone. Or said he didn't. And he thinks that I am overreacting about the photos. But it is the timing and not mentioning them. I could really use some support. I have definitely had it. Thank you for listening.

2 comments posted: Wednesday, April 1st, 2026

Found His Secret Life, Burners Phone And Escorts

I (60F) am currently destroyed after discovering my husband’s secret life. I found a burner phone he forgot in the car and discovered he’s been looking at excessive porn and contacting escort services.

When I confronted him, he admitted to a text conversation but claimed he got "sucked into a gift card scam" and didn't actually go through with anything because he "knew how he’d feel afterward." I’m not buying it. He’s a cheap bastard, and it looks more like he was just hunting for a "budget" escort under $100 and got caught up in a scammer’s trap instead.

What’s killing me is the gaslighting and the double standard.

When I try to talk to him about how I feel—how he could hurt me like this after complaining about a "disconnect" in our sex life—he shuts down. He says he "doesn't feel well," he’s "too stressed,". tells me it’s "not a good time" and calls me crazy and jealous for tracking his phone when I see him sitting at a Dunkin' Donuts for 40 minutes for no reason.

I could really use some input and advice.

7 comments posted: Thursday, March 12th, 2026