Why don't they fight for you, after they betray you?
It's been 6 years since I found out about my husband's long term affair and I'm still here, but I don't know why. The long term affair should have been the first clue to leave, but I digress.
During the time I was waiting for him to step up and do the work to fix things, and he didn't, I slowly got over the affair, but also him too. I would have done the work on our marriage if he put in a little effort, but he would rather just sweep it under the rug and be in this new dynamic, and relationship that looks nothing like our old one.
Do I go on one final crusade and set up the couples therapy are try and rekindle what we had or do I even waste any more of my time on someone who wouldn't even fight for me?
5 comments posted: Thursday, October 23rd, 2025
WS content Status Quo
DDay was March 2019 and I have healed so much since then, but I feel like I did all the healing and work on my own. It doesn’t feel like the Affair was ever properly dealt with as a couple or solo for my husband.
This whole time I’ve been so ambivalent about reconciliation. I think I’ve been waiting for him to fight for me and our marriage before I would really start fighting too. It just never happened. Sometimes I feel like he left me to heal from the affair alone when we should have been doing it together and I began to get over the relationship as I was getting over the affair.
I’ve forgiven him and chose to no longer give so much energy to the A and instead have been trying to to focus on myself. We are more like roommates and coparents and I don’t feel like I am his wife, but I don’t try to be. I don’t understand this relationship anymore. It feels awkward and like I don’t know how I should act. We don’t say I love you or call each other pet names anymore. He doesn’t even really pursue me at all.
The thing is that anytime I bring up us not being together in the future he gets so angry at me. It feels so confusing because his actions have been telling me he just doesn’t care about me or our relationship.
He’s ok with this new dynamic and with keeping things status quo.
Has anyone gone through this? Am I part of the issue by not committing to reconciliation without feeling he’s giving the proper effort first?
11 comments posted: Tuesday, July 25th, 2023
Would you date someone who cheated in their last marriage
Just curious...Would you date someone who cheated in their last marriage?
58 comments posted: Sunday, March 8th, 2020
