Hi,
I just want to go on top of the mountain and yell out my story!
We have been together 10 years, 8 years married. I knew my husband since I was 15. When we started dating, there were some issues with him being still in touch with his ex. I got over it and choose to be with him. Fast forward to our marriage, we got married and after a couple of months, I found out that he never finished off with his ex. He was still in touch and they would face time while I am at work. I chose to forgive and stay.
Now, 5 years ago when I was pregnant with our first child, I found out he was flirting and chatting to a girl from his work where they would say they love each other in chats. I chose to forgive and stay.
We now have 2 kids and I thought everything is going well. Big change in relationship after raising 2 young kids and I was hoping one day when the kids are bit independent, we will get our time back.
Over the weekend, my husband went out with his friends and came home really drunk. I was 14 missed calls from his colleague and I genuinely thought there might be an emergency at workplace and he is so drunk not to check it. I opened this girl’s messages- first word- "BABE". I completely lost it. Couldn’t believe what I am seeing on screen, stayed up all night reflecting on what I have just read. Apparently they were planning to meet each other when my husband was out but that didn’t work out. (This girl is married, ofcourse to someone else)
I didn’t confront anything. I wanted to see his reaction when he is not drunk and back into his senses to realise what he had done. First forward to next day morning, he woke up, I waited for him to check messages on his phone, after that, I told him that there were 14 missed calls from his colleague, he said really? I don’t know, I could see him scrolling on his phone deleting texts so I don’t see them. He asked- did I fuck up? I didn’t say anything.
He tried to ask for forgiveness but I am sure there’s no space for it anymore. I am self aware that, there were too many red flags in this and I should have just stopped when I found out the first time ever. Well, I didn’t! Didn’t have guts to run away and start all over.
I just don’t know how do I make the best decision considering our kids- they are only 4.5 and 1.5 years old. I don’t want them to suffer and at the same time, I don’t want to deal with this toxicity anymore.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated:)
